Look at our beautiful things.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if it was entirely composed out of snatches of overheard conversation?

It might be a little like this:

'May I compliment you - you have a wonderful wife.'

'Buttons for eyes, no wonder he can't sleep at night.'

'No, I took the night bus, in order to spy on the owls.'

'It is alright my darling. He died, but he turned into an elf.'

'Inspiration? Inspiration? No, just a cigarette for me.'

'Wonderful audience, wonderful workshop and now...wonderful whiskey for me.'

"'Don't they have a section about true life when its really miserable, like when people put babies in cupboards...'

'And then they turn into wizards?'

'No, not Harry Potter: painful life fiction. No wizards. More crying.'"

"'Do you think the short story is dead?'
'No'
'Really? Why?'
'I write short stories. For a living.'"

'Can you let me know when the participants for the Peter Rabbit event arrive? You'll know them, they're the ones with the ears, the lettuce, and the distinctive spring in their step.'

'Can I just leave this here for a moment? Its only inflatable snakes and catfood.'

'Please don't let anyone open this door. I'm just popping into the luggage shed to put some proper clothes on.'

See? Life is distinctly more fun when experienced in literary soundbites.